Infinity in Finite Moments

Today I caught myself in the midst of a strange conversation. It was a conversation I had – gulp – roughly a decade ago. What course to take in college? Should I take this? Take that? My life has no direction! So why do you?

With my AKSIS officers done with the day’s agenda, they began looking at their plans instead. One had an aura of certainty about her. Another had the air of nonchalance. And one was in absolute panic, haunted by an unspeakable terror. There I was in the middle, but not meddling, listening without speaking a single word.

I really couldn’t offer much comfort. Ten years ago I made the same choice with too much certainty, though not too seriously. I took Political Science in view of becoming a lawyer. I became something else.

For it was in college where I began to find myself, despite Political Science’s best effort. I’ve always had a desire to teach and work with the youth, and that went unquenched until I finally got around to living life on my own terms. What I bring to the classroom and to the organizations I work with, no course or degree has ever taught me. It’s all heart, all experience, all history.

To my students seeking advice during these tumultuous days, I can’t give you what you will want to hear. I can’t give you a formula on how to choose a course. I can’t reassure you of success or even failure. I can tell you that things will turn out alright eventually, but I understand if that won’t mean much right now. But if pressed for advice, I’ll keep it simple:

Don’t panic.

Just make the best decision that you can, because if there is one thing you can count on in life, it is that there will be many more decisions like this to make in the future. Find it within yourself to choose something you can live with. After all, if there are ways in, there are ways out. And all decisions have their way of leading you to who you’re really meant to be.

But, sir, what if I make a mistake?

Then be prepared to live with it too. Because I did. And if I didn’t, you wouldn’t have met me. I wouldn’t be writing here now, telling you’re going to be just fine.

Dedicated especially to Carlos. Breathe.

A matter of politics

This afternoon in AKSIS, an important question was raised.

“Sir, what if – and I mean a big IF – next school year isn’t normal?”

What did he mean not normal? Knock on wood please.

“What if there is a failure of elections, a coup-d’etat, or even martial law? What does AKSIS do? Will we rally?” And he went on to recite a litany of politically charged acts that won’t look out of place in your standard state university.

AKSIS is about to enter its fourth year, and thus far we’ve never really had a discussion about the organization’s politics. We never really had to, and no crisis has precipitated that divided the club into two and forced us to do some soul-searching. Because in my mind, the club was never meant to be a political organization and in no way have I encouraged us to tilt one way or another.

We’ve had left-leaning members who have gone on to do really constructive advocacy work for us. And thanks to those who prefer to color within the lines, we now have established practices and bylaws that will ensure that the club exists and survives. However, we haven’t attended political rallies, but neither have we towed the administration’s line. Our members are passionate about social justice and student awareness, yet we exhaust all avenues within the system to get things done (and we have).

What AKSIS has done so well is to bring people together, regardless of political affiliation or religious creed. It would be counterproductive, for example, to come up with a ‘unified’ stand about the RH Bill if it will only create factions and split the members apart. Instead, we admit that we will all have our differences. If we are to serve the entire PSHS community, it would be wise to instead focus on our common purpose. Let us return to our objective in AKSIS – to promote, develop, and inspire social consciousness and action in the Philippine Science High School.

We are not here to tell people what to think, but to empower them to do so. In speaking about the RH Bill, for example, we can discuss what makes it so divisive and suggest an analysis of what each side got right and got wrong. We can then sponsor a forum or even hold an exhibition debate. If through our work someone is inspired to learn more about the issue – whether it be from a priest or a reproductive health doctor – and then perhaps writes an appeal to their congressman or even joins an activist rally, then our job is done. For we are not here to enact policy or to bang the gavel for one side or another; we are here to empower people and bring them together.

I suppose the word for us then is non-partisan. We are not apolitical for there is no such thing; we aren’t insulated from politics and pragmatism (if you can call what we do as such) is in itself a political stance.

But of course, there will be moments when we will undoubtedly stand unified. There are moments of tragedy such as Ondoy that will need our charity, and there are moments that require righteous indignation such as the massacre in Maguindanao. At those times, there will be no doubt of where we will be and what we will be doing.

Hence what will AKSIS do when next year isn’t ‘normal’?

I can’t imagine a scenario where our freedom is threatened with extinction and yet AKSIS stands idly by. I hope we’re not thrust into a position where we will have to answer that question, though I have grown confident in our ability to stand us one.

Why Neither Aquino Nor Villar

With Villar catching up to Aquino and even surpassing him in some surveys, a powerful narrative is beginning to take shape. It is very much in line with the Filipino fascination for the llamado-dehado duality, with the underdog often the unlikely hero. “Villar catches up to Aquino” is now the refrain of most surveys, with either candidate ‘recovering’ ground depending on which survey you follow.

See, Aquino used to be insurmountable. After the death of his mother, his massive 60% preference rating propelled him to the candidacy under the Liberal Party. His unfamiliarity became a selling point. Bathed in yellow, he became a mirror upon which anyone saw what they wanted to see. With the most valuable name in Philippine politics and an idyllic legacy to live up to, Aquino had a virtual lock on the Presidency. But that is no longer the case.

People can now speak of a Villar victory. Awash in cash, his contrived image is easily supplemented by a devastating (to his opponents) media campaign and an unparalleled ground game. He has pandered to all classes (though more to the poor than to the rich) and all political persuasions (though more to the left as if to lock in the poor), ensuring him a place in the upper echelons of this country’s traditional politicians.

Manny Villar can definitely win, and hence so must Aquino. That is the emerging equation now.

Each campaign stop reveals Aquino to be an increasingly shallow candidate. Mind you, he never wanted to run, and it is becoming apparent why so. He has neither the charisma necessary to win over voters nor to hold on to a ruling constituency. Neither has he the legislative experience – anyone can file a bill but it takes a leader to make it law — that can back up his alleged expertise in public policy. Running his campaign is akin to building a plane while taking off; it has been an off-message disaster with no other priority than to capitalize on the public sympathy to his mother’s demise while paying lip service to the actual work of reforming government. Moreover, pandering to the anti-Arroyo sentiment either isn’t a political platform.

Villar is equally devoid of substance. Nonetheless, you have to give his media campaign some credit. He has run thrice as many ads as his nearest opponent, and his message and iconography have transformed themselves into Internet memes and dorm room parodies. The upper class can see through the facade, but they are hardly the targets of Villar’s campaign. Majority of voters are still in the D and E classes, the people most susceptible to Villar’s type of political pandering.

But this is hardly the fault of the masses. Villar could have earned my vote if he followed a slightly different tact. His candidacy would have been much more palatable to me if in reaching out to the poor, he lifts them up. I don’t refer to dole outs; I refer to building communities.

Barack Obama started out his political career working as a community organizer in the South Side of Chicago. He worked with the powerless and the oppressed but did not champion them; he worked with them. Sat with them. Talked with them. He provided a way out not by paying them off, but by teaching them to organize, work together, and have their own say in their city’s politics. He organized town hall meetings and adjudicated conflicts between citizens and cops.

Hence, there is a way to lift the poor up instead of promising them the same fluff they get each year. Of course, it would be unrealistic to expect Villar to adopt such a strategy now with so little campaign time to work with. And yet, looking at his record won’t give you a glimpse into any sort of constituency builder at all. Instead of being one you can talk to and depend on to listen, he has instead remained non-transparent and unaccountable – the ultimate effect of the C5 controversy and the evasions that have preceded it. He is far and away from being anything similar to the new type of politician we seek for in this election. Instead he has proven himself an expert in the playbooks all traditional politicians have memorized by heart – keep the rich close and the poor men even lower – for that way they’ll need you more, and they’ll vote for you because they can’t live without you.

Therefore, it is sad that the voting calculus of many have been reduced to this: I will vote for Aquino so that Villar won’t win; I will vote for Villar so that Aquino won’t win.

I reject that.

I respect those who can argue their case for either candidate. I am certain that there are others who can present intellectual reasons for going for either one. We are a democracy. I may not agree with any argument they will ultimately present, but that is why we are entitled to our opinions and our votes.

But the attitude of merely voting for another so that the other won’t win is symptomatic of what’s wrong with our democracy. It’s the lesser evil vote. The crab mentality vote. Neither is intelligent; neither thinks long term. Of course, this also speaks of the shallowness of the candidacy pool itself, but I am convinced that there is someone we can vote for and I am glad to say that that isn’t hypothetical in this election.

What I am an advocate for is that if we indeed want change in our society, we begin by stripping away old modes of voting. After all, that too is traditional politics.

Chances are, the right guy for the job won’t win (which is actually always the case according to the losers). But this really isn’t the point. It’s about elevating our political discourse by elevating the way we think about our politics. I bet you, for every person wary of a Villar presidency and hence will vote for Aquino, there will be someone terrified of an Aquino presidency who will vote for Villar. One defense even went on to say that they rather cast their vote with someone ‘they can work with’ rather than just complain later on. That’s noble, but the same is said on the other side. One side will end up complaining and we’ll end up where we began.

I respect the aspiration of those on the Aquino camp that his presidency has the potential to stem corruption. I also respect the hope of those on the Villar camp that his will eliminate poverty. But neither are plans. Neither candidate seems to be doing the necessary politics or advocating the necessary policies to get the job done. Instead, we need a man with a plan – take note man, not Messiah – and as individual voters we must be able to hash out what those plans are. He must be someone who can listen and learn; for though he can’t get everything right he must be able to bring people together in order for them to do the right thing. That man is neither Aquino nor Villar.

This year’s election is all about change.

But we need the kind of change that truly uplifts, and not the type that is merely promised. I am still looking for the kind of change that electrifies one into action, and for that inspiring candidate I would gladly give up the hour I used to write this piece and go out to canvass instead.

I am aware that the obvious response to this piece is “Then who?” While I wouldn’t want to be a nihilist and claim that all hope is lost, I am also not at that place yet when I can write a positive piece headlined by “Why him.” Nonetheless, it is my hope that before May I get to be at that point where I can.

For now however, my point remains. If we insist on the manner of voting someone up to keep the other down, then we need not be surprised when things remain the same. This year can be the year we once again screw it up royally for the next six years; it can also be the first step at getting things right.

“We are bound to be true”

Perhaps the most powerful words I’ve ever heard from Barack Obama. Now I really want to read Lincoln!

“I am not bound to win, but I’m bound to be true. I’m not bound to succeed, but I’m bound to live up to what light I have.”

If change is the only constant thing, why is it difficult?

We know that our time on this world is limited, and yet it hurts us profoundly to lose a friend. Fortune comes and goes, yet it never seems to come – or when it does it is gone too soon. At times you’re up, at times you’re down; but when you’re on either end there never seems to be any end. And you begin your high school life thinking it will be all over in four years, but then when that final week comes you ask where all the time has been.

The world is in flux. It is ever changing. We know this. We age. We spoil. We mature. We learn. Still, there is a large gulf between knowing this to be true and actually living it through. Many ask – If change is the only constant thing in this world, why is it difficult?

One anonymous night, I blurted out in Facebook that I found the answer to this question. A couple of comments egged me on to answer. Here you go.

First, let’s dissect the ‘paradox’.

Premise one: Change is the only constant thing in this world.

Premise two: Change is difficult.

With basic logic, we get this: The only constant thing is this world is that it is difficult.

Or to make it more poetic: All life is suffering.

Sounds familiar?

Though I tweeted my epiphany that one night, it took me less than a minute to realize that I’m actually recalling the teachings of the Buddha.

Change is difficult for we are human. Life is a story written by memories, and what else are memories but connections we form to people, times, and places in order to make our fleeting existence on this Earth less unbearable.

What compels us to form attachments is desire, a word that is neither positive nor negative to the Buddha. But it is desire that compels us to connect and we know it by many names: love, lust, friendship, greed, camaraderie, rivalry, and so on. It is not desire itself that leads to suffering but the attachments created by it. By attaching ourselves to things that are impermanent and hope — by nature of desire — that they become permanent, then we inevitably frustrate ourselves. Hence, we become unrealistic (because reality will change) and we open ourselves up to suffering.

What is the solution therefore? Do we just scorn all attachment?

Different Buddhists find different responses to the challenge of desire. Some choose the ascetic lifestyle (these are the monks you see) and scorn all wordly possessions. Others, adopt a more religious form of Buddhism (Mahayana) where the tenets are studied intellectually (doctrine), lived out socially (morals), and performed publicly (worship).

As a humanist, I find great value in the teachings of the Buddha especially when put together with the Daoist imperative to know thyself. Desire can easily be overcome when we realize what its effects on us are; moreover, desire can be channeled to more productive means when we know where we need to devote our creative energies to. I can speak more of this in the future, but I’d like to end with a few examples of how this synergy works:

Our time on Earth is limited, and thus our time with friends are too. Therefore, we make the most of the time we have together (wu wei).

At times you’re up, at times you’re down. That is how the world is; one cannot be without the other (yin yang). Just remember that though things can get bad, they won’t be forever. And when you’re happy and glad, never forget how you got to that moment for it will be taken away again soon. That is how it is.

And we as humans are always changing. We age. We spoil. We mature. We learn. Just be mindful of where these transformations take us; moreover, we must listen and discern whether what we’re about to be is really who we are (puh).

So if change is the only constant thing, why is it difficult?

Because we humans make it so.

We are all out to change the world

Is it true that as someone grows older, the more practical they become?

That question has remained with me since I was first asked a year ago. I was in a rough spot in my life with not much ammunition to answer. I was thrust into a leadership position in school, but was by then facing circumstances that made me doubt the very promise that the position once held. It was so easy to reply in the negative (or positive as the case may be). It was so easy to give up.

Instead that question forced me to confront my own hopes and fears. It compelled me to recover the idealism I have lost while cautioning me to remain mindful of reality-as-it-is.

In so many words, I replied to that young man’s question by saying that it is true what they say, though it need not be so for him. There for many in this world whose path has been to live and carve out a comfortable life. That is perfectly fine. But I forewarned that there will come a time when we will be called out to something greater than ourselves. We will be presented with a path that may not be as comfortable and easy, and it will require a lot of sacrifice. Too few rise up to answer such a call; it is my hope that there be more among our ranks.

This blog is about that hope.

My own path hasn’t been perfect. But neither am I at the end. This blog continues my own project at self-discovery as I hope to share stories and insights to help others further along in their journey. So I hope you find something worth your while, for if you have the time then I will have the Change to spare.

You may have missed: The Most Important Question

Written September 25 last year –

Towards the end of last school year, a student asked The Most Important Question Ever.

“Sir, is it true that as one grows old, he becomes more practical?” Somehow he looked guilty. ”I am just worried that when the time comes, I will lose my ideals.”

What ideals? I asked.

“That there are things I want to do for this country. That I want it to be better.”

I recall fumbling for an answer. Caught unprepared, I didn’t have anything coherent to say. Or more likely I wasn’t ready to say what I really wanted to.

At that time, I was at a crossroads. The economic downturn left so many in a bad place, myself included. I was about to send myself off to graduate school, but my savings were nearly wiped out (one month I spent more for gasoline than food) and the prospects of finding a new, more fulfilling job simply wasn’t there. I was also at a sore spot emotionally. Despite being given a position of authority and responsibility in the school, support wasn’t given to me by the higher ups when I needed it most. It was demoralizing. It felt futile to dream, taboo to hope.

It was so difficult to answer that student because I just wanted to give up. I just wanted to take the easy way out and quit. So the plans I’ve set for my batch wouldn’t push through? “I’m sorry. It was beyond me.” The stress wasn’t worth the pay check. And the call center seemed so attractive all of a sudden. I was ready to say, “Yes, it is true what they say about growing old.”

Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.

Read more.

Last Two Minutes, or Why I Want to Go Overtime with Batch 2012

Greetings blogosphere! It has been quite a while. Again.

We are about to begin the last week of school on Tuesday. Thanks to the People Power holiday, we have Monday off but don’t let that deceive you: there will hardly be any rest.

The last two months of school are usually the busiest for me. It is when I culminate everything I’ve been working towards, tie up loose ends, or make up for lost time. That toxic triad makes for a race against time — a race I have every intention to win and a race I have had a good track record of winning. And yet, at the risk of mixing my metaphors, let’s borrow another one from basketball (since tennis, though I love it, does not convey the same urgency even when you’re 0-40, 0-5 down in the fifth set; desperation yes, but not urgency).

I am forcing the game into overtime. Last two minutes and I am three points down, and I have to make my play. I just need to make one shot. Or maybe two. Do you have my back? I want another five minutes and so do you.

This school year has had a very odd pace. We started a week late, lost two weeks to AH1N1, and lost another to Ondoy. The passing of a colleague left the community in a squalid pall for about a week, and then I had the honor of being sent to India for two weeks. We are ending this school year a week earlier compared to last year. And there have been oh so many long weekends sprinkled throughout the calendar to make a time management freak like me disbelieve the existence of time.

In sum, I haven’t spent as much time with my classes as I hoped to, or rather, as I would want to now.

I struggled in teaching Batch 2012 at the start.

We could hardly get any momentum off the ground. Whenever classes would be canceled, it would force us to adjust and reacquaint ourselves with school whenever we resume from an unscheduled, extended break. The students struggled to get into the rhythm of school, making it difficult for them to meet the high expectations of a teacher that relies a lot on independent study, full and focused attention during lectures, and undivided participation when it comes to class activities.

And I could see that they were having a difficult time. Many hated (and still hate) my pre-lecture quizzes. I literally felt them dragging their feet through my lectures. The intermittent class schedule in the first semester was unfriendly to the sort of time table-based group activities I design, forcing me to rely on lectures – which I really hated as well.

(Nonetheless, I did make it a point to make them look as good as I can. )

Trapped in a cycle of lecture after lecture, I made a silent commitment to myself that I will persevere. I wasn’t teaching the kind of class I wanted, but I will the moment the first semester (a combined first and second quarter) is through. If I were to rely on lectures, I had to do it well. If I were to expect my students to really read up before my quizzes, I had to push them harder. In my mind, I had to pay all of this off somehow. So towards the end of the semester I began reciting an unbreakable vow — “If I lecture half of the year, you will not hear me lecture in the other half.” By promising my students more activities once the third quarter began, I set the bar for myself. I knew I could do it; it was just a matter of time.

True enough, I began teaching the class I wanted to in the third quarter. I forewarned that it will be a project-oriented quarter and that in eight weeks I will only lecture a maximum of four times (I think I only lectured twice).

We kicked things off with their own version of The Amazing Race where I had my four classes cover different Asian regions. Each class was divided into six teams – one to oversee different aspects of the project, and five to be responsible for five different legs.

It was my way seeing what they were capable of. The first semester didn’t really allow me to know who the leaders were, but this definitely did. I also met the artists, writers, and performers; I’ve also seen who tend to take initiative versus those who were just in it for the free ride. I am generally satisfied with their work, though we are all in agreement that much more could be done if they had more time (they just had two weeks). And as their teacher I would’ve had more fulfillment if I had time to sit down afterwards and talk about every single thing that happened. But I was on my own Amazing Race – soon I had to board a plane to India.

Nonetheless, their projects did look very fantastic. You can check out their amazing race reports here:

CHAMPACA – Sand and Sword (Islamic World)

DAHLIA – All Under Heaven (East Asia)

ROSAL – Silk Road (Central Asia)

SAMPAGUITA – Spice Islands (Southeast Asia)

Upon my return we began work on our East/West Debates, a favorite of mine from last school year. I reprised it with a lot of modifications; in particular, I revolved each mock trial around a specific historical event rather than a general issue. Students can compare the guidelines for 2011 with the one for 2012.

For Batch 2011:

For Batch 2012:

I am very, very satisfied with the results this year. Revolving around specific events is simply the best thing I’ve done, since it allowed students to focus on building their arguments (rather than rely on my talking points like last year) and beefing up their witnesses.

In addition, this exposed them to my real teaching style and I got to see how they measure up to the high expectations I’ve set. I only delivered a two-session lecture on basic concepts about imperialism, and in some sections I didn’t even finish (and it doesn’t really matter). Then it was mostly research work at the library. Then I pointed students towards some websites they could use. To those who had difficulty contextualizing their research, I provided frameworks. What they came up with genuinely surprised me. They discovered texts I never really studied yet and made characters out of historical figures you can’t find in standard history books. It sounds cliche whenever teachers say that they learn from their students too, but in this case it is very real. If next year the East/West Debates get even better, it is only because of Batch 2012.

My Third Quarter Periodic Exam gave them a taste of what I really look for in my students. Dealing with texts we haven’t touched on a single second in class, they answered a pure essay test where they had to choose questions that fit their interest, knowledge, and individual capabilities. While difficult and seemingly impossible to check, it continues to be the most important exam I administer to my students.

And finally, the fourth quarter.

We started big. The Middle East Peace Summit has been done since Batch ‘09 and since then it has been reserved for the last week of February. Instead I pushed it a month earlier, kicking off the new year with a four-part lecture on the Middle East to provide them context for the summit. I also set the tone with a personal favorite, Win As Much As You Can, an ingenious game utilizing the principle of game theory. From a teacher’s perspective, this is a brilliant combo. It teaches them about cooperation and betrayal without having to utter a single word. It sends them off to the Peace Summit knowing that what they are about to do isn’t impossible – if people really remained true to their word and left themselves open to compromise. I didn’t have to say anything to teach them this, they just did it.

(By the way, 2012, do you want to know how previous Batches did it? I wrote reports for ‘09 and ‘10 but stopped with ‘11 since the reports spoil the action. But you can read about how other batches did here: Batch ‘10, Batch’09)

And this, in another wonderful twist of fate, sets up what we’re about to do starting next week.

Batch 2012 is the sixth batch I’m handling. Yet, I am introducing an activity for the first time.

It is something I’ve wanted to do since I started teaching Asian Studies – a simulation of the ASEAN in a truly open-ended and student-driven format.

I am confident enough in my abilities now to pull off something this ambitious. I can see from the preliminary requirements – a Country Profile detailing their objectives for the forum and a Position Paper that basically serves as a draft of their privilege speech – that my students are ready as well. I can see that they have gotten used to the rigor and hard work I expect from my students, and for that the First Semester paid off somehow.

Throughout the year, students have often asked me about things I personally believe in. What is your religion, sir? Who are you voting for? Does our country have hope? I often decline answering. Over the years I’ve realized that education is not about telling students what to think, but to help them – and empower them – to think for themselves. And yet, if they ask me what I believe in now, I will gladly answer.

I believe in you.

I will say nothing more about the coming Model East Asia Regional Forum for I want us all to be surprised with what happens next. But for sure, there is no struggle on my part now. I’ve seen my students grow tremendously over the past months; I no longer see the weariness of trying to keep up with my expectations but the anxiety of whether they will in fact meet them one last time.

You guys will.

Hence, I can’t help but look back at how things could have been (I do teach history). If we had all the time we lost, there is so much we could have done with five more weeks. There are films we could have watched; lectures on Japan and Southeast Asia I could have delivered. Perhaps I could have thrown in an extra week for The Amazing Race and I could have lectured a bit more before the East/West Debates in order to provide more context. We could all take a session after the activities to talk about what happened. And perhaps you could have known me a little bit more than the teacher with super planned time tables and detailed guidelines.

But alas! Such is the fate of every teacher. We’re given only so much time, and there are no last minute plays to force the game into overtime. In the end, I can only hope that you learned a thing or two and felt that all your hard work was worth it. I make no apologies for being tough, but am willing to hear you out if you feel that I haven’t been fair.

We teachers never really get second chances despite a new year that awaits in June; our current batch has come and will be gone, and I hope we’ve made our limited time together truly mean something. For I will be eternally grateful just for that, and it is always a teacher’s prayer that the same is true on the other side.

Batch 2012, good luck in your last two minutes!

fin

BONUS! Below is one activity which we had no time to do at all. I was planning to, but replaced it with The Amazing Race instead. Did I make the right choice?

The Indian Soul

An Asian Studies teacher has a lot to deal with. Asia is not a single unit, has hardly any internal coherence, and demands a discipline that is quite different from teaching World (read: European) History. It is misleading to think that we have less content, because from philosophy to the rise of modernity, Asia is all about soul.

When I was starting out, I saw the three content areas this way.

Chinese history appeals to my heart. I am simply in love with the culture, its food, and its movies. My studies there stem from this playful love for the subject matter.

Islamic history appeals to my head. My first encounter with it was during my college days learning Political Science. 9/11 just happened, and hence interest in Islam increased; I was part of that statistic.

But India always appealed to my soul. There is just something so entrancing about the story of the Buddha, so eerie about the Taj Mahal, and for some reason their imperial experience under Britain feels all too familiar. To confront India was always to confront my deepest self, and I could attest to that now that I have actually been there.

The Community Development and Leadership Summit 2009 was really for our students. The teacher chaperone has to do pretty much that – chaperone. “Get them there, and get them out” was pretty much my job description. And yet between the margins I found the time to encounter India in its entirety, though I think it is really impossible to do just that and arrogant to think that that is even possible.

But we sure tried. There were times when some fellow teacher delegates and I excused ourselves from some sessions to steal some time outside the school walls. We affirmed that the Indians do love their tea more than their coffee, that no two saris looks the same (though it can be impossible to tell the Indians themselves apart), and that the colonial experience reaches its way to their comfort rooms – when you enter you can take your pick: toilet or ‘Western’ toilet.

Having taught India from a textbook for the past five years, I was more curious to see whether my readings bore out in reality. Indeed, there were hardly any Buddhists around anymore and so it is no surprise that some have this misconception of Buddhism coming from Thailand or China. I was also sensitive to the caste system, which I had no idea how to bring up. But I had a firsthand experience with a dalit or untouchable.

Though banned in theory, the caste retains deep socio-economic divisions. I had my shoe ‘shined’ inadvertedly; while walking through an underpass in Delhi, a dark skinned man walked up to me and offered a shoe shine. I declined; he insisted. Then he crouched to my shoe to give me no choice; I politely ran away and said I’m being left behind by my companions (which was true). As I exited the underpass, I noticed a light green goo on top of my right shoe. It was monkey poo. I just had an encounter with a con man. I just had an encounter with a man who was trying to make a living.

Back at the school, I asked a sociology teacher how much he could’ve asked a foreigner like me.

“100 rupees?” I guessed. One rupee being almost equal to one peso.

“100? Too much.” The teacher replied. “20 would have been a lot already.”

Twenty rupees for a con job. That’s twenty pesos here. Unbelievable yes, but this was happening every day and in different spots throughout New Delhi.

People speak so easily about change and progress in India. The politicians and economists all talk about a coming Golden Age, and they do have many reasons to be optimistic. What is important is that in their quest for progress, they do not forget the shoe shine guy and many others like him. But thankfully, I am optimistic.

I just have to remember a boy named Mukul.

Throughout the summit, the foreign student delegates were assigned a Modern School student to accompany them and help them through everything they need. We teachers weren’t. But there was Mukul. His small unassuming bespectacled stature betrays his low, deep voice that echoed nothing else but warm, sympathy and concern. He who followed, trailed, and struck a conversation with me whenever he could. At first though, I was a little annoyed since there were moments when I preferred to be alone. And then one night, I received news from Manila that my uncle passed away.

A forum just ended and everyone was heading back to the dormitories. I decided to hang around the auditorium area, use their WiFi, and see how everyone back home was doing. But I couldn’t get a signal and just sat there, frustrated that I couldn’t get in touch. My mother was very concerned about uncle during his last few months, and I was very concerned for my mother whose heart doesn’t easily break but breaks hard when it does. But I only planned to get in touch through the Internet and did not get a local sim for my phone. Now I was regretting it.

Then Mukul arrived. He called on me and asked me to join everyone for dinner back in the dorm. I politely declined and said that I wanted to try the WiFi one last time, so he insisted to stay with me. He then asked if something was wrong; I looked upset, he said.

Not one to just let emotions spill, I assured him that it was nothing I couldn’t deal with. “But enough about me,” I said. “Tell me something about you.” Then we walked back to the dormitories.

During the walk he told me about how he wasn’t accepted as one of the Modern School volunteers for the summit, but will insist that he becomes one just so he can hang around. He found me interesting and funny, like a mentor he could learn a lot from. So as a mentor, I asked him what his dreams were. He said he wanted to be an accountant and he dreamed about earning the big bucks to live a good life. I asked if that was all. “Well, that’s what I can do to help my family.”

As we neared the dorm his phone rang. It was his mother. “I am being summoned home now, sir. It’s my mother.”

“Well, Mukul, if I were you, I’d be a good boy and go home now.”

“Yes, sir. I’ll be on my way then. See you tomorrow, and I hope all will be well.”

* * *

It has been more than two months since I got back from India. Since then my head has been swirling with ideas for my classes and new dreams for myself. I can now speak of India more confidently and more convincingly. I have enough anecdotes to write my own book with.

I readily admit that I haven’t seen everything I would’ve wanted to see in India. I’d like to see Varanasi for myself and witness a burial ritual along the Ganges as other people bathe. But this only gives me reason to return. Maybe then the shoe shine guy won’t be around anymore. And perhaps I’ll drop by Modern School and look for Mukul, just so I can say that all has been well. That evening conversation wasn’t the last I saw of him, but it was then that I realized something I’ve long since known.

India is all about soul.

Mukul and I at a Concept Paper Discussion

Noynoy Aquino hits a new low

Candidates criticized for having no experience — like JFK or Obama — counter this by proving themselves as people with the judgment to be President. Noynoy is facing the same criticism, yet has hardly shown any judgment. His latest ad, while to a lot is just the same cheap gimmickry, is for me the clearest sign of his lack of judgment so far.

His ad shows a lack of judgment for several reasons: it misrepresents who he is, the pandering presentation is not congruent with his call for us to seek our higher selves, and he has resulted to traditional political parlor games, casting him in a light no different — and perhaps even worse — than the most-trapoest-trapo-of-them-all, Villar.

So if I were you, I’d share this video with all those still making up their minds on who to vote for. Help our country by not getting Noynoy Aquino elected in May.

How dare he speak about change after this; the campaign is bringing out the worst in him

1986, Never Again. Say No to Noynoy Aquino.